The First Blog from My New Associate Deanna Jones – Changing Narratives

Posted on by
I recently read “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb for our book club. A fascinating book where the author takes us on the journeys of 5 of her patients (including herself). In each of these stories, we are introduced to characters that each have what they consider established truths about themselves. Through Lori’s therapy sessions, she uncovers key parts of each person’s established truth and how that might not be serving the patient in making future decisions. She helps guide the patients to see something they had not seen before. This is part of Lori’s powerful message from her very popular TED talk, “How Changing Your Story Can Change Your Life.”

Recommended Reading from Deanna Jones: “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb

This core of this message is that we’re not reliable narrators of our own lives. Her quote from the book: “the art of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself—to let go of the limiting stories you’ve told yourself about who you are so that you aren’t trapped by them, so you can live your life and not the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life.” Are you telling yourself stories that might be unreliable? Are there any unreliable narratives we tell each other as a individuals, a country or in our companies? Without a doubt we all find stories to make sense of our histories that influence our future decisions. I have always told myself that I was a strong advocate for those who are marginalized. Invariably, this changes my focus for the future and lessens my call to action. . “I don’t need to focus on that, I’m already have it as my story.” However, whenever I think of that image where we are all at the Pearly gates and our lives are reviewed, St. Peter might look at me and “meh”. Yes, in all honesty, I was just “meh” For 2023, I want to stop relying on my inflated stories I tell myself. Our country, our community and more to the point, our businesses, need strong advocacy for marginalized groups this year.. In our country alone, over 300 anti-trans bills were proposed in 2022. States passed more than 15 bills targeting transgender people. Over 30 transgender people have been killed this past year.  (Note from Stan – Link to my blog about corporations once again being called to take the lead around diversity, equity and inclusion)

Deanna Jones, Total Engagement Consulting new Consultant on Call

I know our country can be better than this. What can we all do to make this a more inclusive place to live and work? Our call to action begins by examining our outdated narratives that what we‘re doing is good enough. Do you feel you or your company has some false narratives that allow you to be “meh” in the DEI space? Is there room for you to do more? At the end of 2023, for myself, I want to know I did more, I hope you can find that for your business as well. Let this be our new and honest start to a better and more inclusive world. It all starts with our introspection. Let’s begin a new story for 2023. Happy New Year. * * * * * * * This was the first of many blogs that will be provided by my new associate, Deanna Jones.  Link to my announcement of her joining my team.

Happy New Year! My “Top 10” blogs of 2022

Posted on by

This year, I am updating this New Year’s blog tradition …. since the 2022 top 7 blogs were all published in prior years, I am going to add the top three 2022 published blogs at the end to now make this a “Top 10.”

Yes – my top seven most read blogs were published in earlier years.  I guess as more people read them, they come toward the top on google searches and get even more readers.

The top seven all received over 1,000 hits each; five of the 7 dealt with some general aspect of diversity, and three of the 7 dealt with diversity within sports. 

Here are the seven most read of 2022, starting with number 7 and working up to number one. At the bottom I will add the top 3 read blogs that were actually published this year.

7) This year’s number 7 was last year’s number 6 – a guest blog written in 2018 by my cousin Brandon, who has a masters degree in social work and now works in the Federal Prison System while pursuing his PhD in social work at the University of Kentucky – Five Misconceptions about Atheists from my Experience: A guest blog by Brandon G.

6) This year’s number 6 was last year’s number 4 – “Three Wonderful Recent Examples of Diversity and Sports,” in which I provide short summaries with links about an NFL football player with one hand, an WNBA player who is a new mother with her wife, and a college track star who overcame a harsh abusive upbringing in Africa.

5) First time in the top seven is “Active Listening Skills of Influential Leaders” published in March 2020.

With figure skating now being so much a part of my life, I am pleased my diversity and skating blogs are so well read.

3 and 4) With over 5,000 hits across the two blogs were 2018’s Seven More Fabulous Out Gay Men of Figure Skating (and One Bisexual Woman) and my 2016 personal labor of love which included several personal photos that I took, “Seven Fabulous Out Gay Men of Figure Skating.”  And my 2022 installment was my top blog actually published in 2022 – see below.

2) And another newcomer to this year’s list was a guest blog written at the end of 2020. As diversity, equity and inclusion becomes increasingly important in the workplace, “Five Tips for Highlighting Your Commitment to Diversity and Inclusion in Your Resume: Here’s How” can prove to be a valuable resource for job seekers.

1) With the growing number and visibility of Hispanic Americans, number one for the second year in a row with over 6,000 hits – “Seven Misconceptions or Stereotypes of Hispanic People”, a guest piece written in 2016 by my part-time bilingual consultant on staff, Elsa Maria Jimenez Salgado.

Two of my most popular 2022 published blogs dealt with the increase in nonbinary people and use of pronouns

Since none of the few dozen blogs I wrote in 2022 made it into the top seven, here are the 2022 written top 3:

2022 Number 1 – With 2022 having been an Olympic year, I wrote the 3rd installment of my very popular blog series, “Seven more fabulous out LGBTQ+ athletes of figure skating.” This is the most diverse group ever – includes 3 women and one non-binary athlete from 3 countries and across all 4 figure skating disciplines (women, men, pairs, ice dance.)

2022 Number 2 – A more personal blog – a tribute to one of my Millbrook High School teachers who recently passed away – Vickie Tart Burlington aka Miss Tart.

2022 Number 3 – This blog is about one of the hot emerging areas in diversity, equity and inclusion and one of the most requested topics I got ask to speak on during LGBTQ Pride Month this year: “Nonbinary People and the Use of Pronouns – 6 Points and Resources.”

I wish all of my faithful readers a happy and fulfilling 2023.  To stay in touch and to receive my monthly newsletter in which I summarize all blogs written in the previous month, please do subscribe to my newsletter. Or check out this page to connect to my LinkedIn or business Facebook page.