Tag Archives: gay sons and mothers

My final blog, and the five things I’ll be doing next

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I have had a fulfilling run as a DEIB consultant and trainer

This blog has many links – please do explore them!

On November 5, 2010, I opened my business, Total Engagement Consulting by Kimer, and published my first blog, “Being passionate about what I do.” I shared that I was thrilled and excited to be forming a consulting firm around diversity and career development, two of the areas I enjoyed the most during my 31 years at IBM.  My second blog was actually a copy of the press release announcing the opening of my business.

I published another blog a month later titled, “Retirement – Having the time to make an impact.” Basically I was leaving a 50-60 hour per week corporate job and then starting my own firm with the target of working 30 hours per week. That provided me the flexibility to serve on nonprofit boards and to spearhead the Kimer-Kamba Community Centre in Mtito Andei, Kenya.

In my final newsletter which I sent out earlier this month, I shared that I am basically retiring, turning over most of my business, except a very small handful of favorite clients, to Deanna Jones of “Deanna Jones Now!”

So now here are the things where I will be spending most of my time:

1) Pursuing board and advisory positions. With my vast corporate and entrepreneurial experience, the next logical step in my vocational journey is to land one or two paying corporate board or advisor positions with medium or large sized companies. I seek to leverage my extensive organizational experience and creative mind to advise companies across all areas to maximize strategic and operational effectiveness. I have a greatly enhanced LinkedIn profile (check it out) to position me for future board and advisor positions, and of course welcome any references or suggestions from all of you.

I am looking forward to supporting my work in Africa and with Other Sheep.

2) Spending more time serving the nonprofit boards I am on. One initiative I need to devote significant time on is recruiting a volunteer Global Coordinator for Other Sheep. I am the President of this nonprofit with the mission of providing resources to faith activists in second and third world countries who are working with religious leaders be more accepting of sexual minorities. Other Sheep has basically been in a holding patterns for several years after the departure of our previous executive director (we have now redefined that role as “Global Coordinator.”) Please contact me if interested and want more information.

In addition, I continue to serve on the board of “Gay Sons and Mothers” as we are finishing a short documentary on this work, and on the Planning Committee of the North Carolina Council of Churches.

3) Figure Skating! At the age of 59, I decided to pursue becoming a competitive adult figure skater, and after seven years of training and hard work have passed all the tests to now compete at the US Adult National Championships. I enjoy both the athleticism and performance aspects of figure skating, and have already won two gold and two silver medals at first first three US Adult Nationals. I want to continue to grow new skills and compete for many years to come. I have written several blogs about my skating journey and have lots of information, including my competition schedule, on my figure skating web pages.

4) Spending time with friends and family. It is nice to be able just to spend time with friends and family and take a nice 3-hour lunch with friends when I want to. Also, spending time with my 92-year-old mother who is in good health and continues to live on her own in the family home less than 2 miles from where I live.

5) And other future ventures? Of course there are still many places around the world on my bucket list that I would love to travel to, and I am strongly considering trying to get engaged in acting in community theater.

I look forward to seeing what adventures unfold in my life after work!

The Problem with “Othering” – It Dehumanizes

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Blog author Dr. Patricia Arredondo

The following blog was recently published by Dr. Patricia Arredondo, (link to her website) a leading American Psychologist, educator and diversity / leadership consultant, (see Wikipedia bio) who serves with me on the board of the impactful and unique nonprofit “Gay Sons and Mothers.”

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In our consulting endeavors, we emphasize the need to be mindful of the diversity of employees, students, administrators, community groups and residents in nearby cities and towns. Simply said, there are across and within-group differences and similarities that may prove challenging if one is not curious. People differences more readily stand out often leading to assumptions, biases, and both cognitive and behavioral stereotyping.

When we learn that the new supervisor is from Mississippi, images and assumptions about how she speaks—most likely with a “southern” accent come to mind. Having stereotypes of people is usual, but acting on a stereotype or bias can be harmful, disrespectful, and plain wrong.

“Othering” relates to stereotyping and microaggressions and occurs in different social and workplace settings. For example, people in IT departments are often labeled “techies” and individuals who prefer machines to people. Professionals in DEIB offices are othered because they may be seen as only caring about “minority” issues. Othering often leads to the marginalization of an individual or of a group without a basis for the judgment held other than the perception that they are different somehow from the mainstream or norm. This ingroup/outgroup behavior affects individuals’ sense of belonging and inclusion in the workplace, school, or community. Has this happened to you?

Othering has emanated on a highly visible national scale. Recent disparaging comments about Haitian immigrants in Springfield, OH have led to bomb threats, name-calling, and other denigrating statements. When you are relegated to outgroup status because of othering, you are rendered defenseless. How do the Haitian immigrants defend themselves when mistruths are spoken? The voices of authoritarian men minimize the immigrants’ humanity and also suggest they are a group separate and apart from other persons. Denigrating others creates social divisions that may take a long time to recover from, and in this example, are also psychologically harmful.

In this period of cultural and social frenzy, we need to be mindful to ask questions first and not assume, find the middle ground, and be compassionate to those whose humanity is denigrated. As I see it, we also lose a little bit of the soul of America when we don’t speak up on behalf of the “other”——Kudos to the Springfield Mayor and the Ohio Governor for speaking up.

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Some of my past related blogs:

I also wrote about the impact of the false narrative of Haitian immigrants eating pets in “Words Can Cause Great Harm – the Case of Springfield, Ohio”

In “Another Way to View Immigration,” I address the irrational hate toward immigrants in American politics.