Some Princes Don’t Care Much For Princesses – So What’s the Big Deal?

The queen was quite concerned that all the other princes in their region were married, but her son Prince Bertie was not.

The queen was quite concerned that all the other princes in their region were married, but her son Prince Bertie was not.

Please see the several links to additional blogs and resources at the bottom of this short blog.

In the May 15th Raleigh News and Observer, front page, was a story (link) about third grade teacher, Mr. Omar Currie, who got into hot water for reading the book “King and King” by Dutch authors Linda De Haan and Stern Nijland to his third grade class in rural Efland, North Carolina. Mr. Currie read this delightful book to his class after a boy was being bullied in his classroom and the word “gay” was used in a negative sense. (NOTE: follow up newspaper article on the subsequent public hearing.)

This book is a classic fairy tale about Prince Bertie, who is single despite his mother’s wish that he find a princess to marry. After the queen issues an invitation to the world’s princesses to come meet her eligible bachelor prince son and Bertie meets a very diverse set of princesses from all corners of the globe, he finally (and bravely) declares to his mother, “I’ve never cared much for princesses.” Luckily, Prince Bertie meets Price Lee, and they fall in love and get married.

Good news!  Prince Bertie finally meet Prince Lee, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.

Good news! Prince Bertie finally meet Prince Lee, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.


Now a local resident who does not even have a child enrolled in the school with a few other local parents are raising a fuss about the “inappropriateness” of the book. So I ask, what is so inappropriate about reading one single children’s book that features a same-gender couple? Here are 3 important short points:

1. Same gender (or gay) marriage is now a reality in 21st century USA and in many countries around the world including Europe and Latin America. A majority of US states now have same-gender marriage and more than likely it will be a nationwide reality after the US Supreme Court issues a final ruling on this matter in late June. And even Mr. Currie states that several students in his school have two moms or two dads. Shouldn’t those families be included in stories as well as all others?

2. Schools must address bullying and foster diversity. When a girl is bullied for being a “tomboy”, or a boy is bullied for being a little feminine, or a child is bullied for being multi-racial, or has a disability, or two mommies or two daddies, the school must address it. Children need to be taught early and often that bullying is always wrong and that all people should be respected and valued.

Third grade teacher Omar Currie acknowledges applause in response to his impassioned speech at a community hearing. Photo: Harry Lynch, hlynch@newsobserver.com

Third grade teacher Omar Currie acknowledges applause in response to his impassioned speech at a community hearing. Photo: Harry Lynch, [email protected]


3. Teaching about different ways of life does not diminish or detract from anyone! Mr. Currie estimates he reads 500 books in a typical school year to his class. So one book out of 500 features a same-gender couple. That in no way takes away from opposite gender couples or single parents families that may be portrayed in the other 499 books! People need to get over feeling threatened by people who are not exactly like them.

In closing, I would like to salute the enlightened teacher Mr. Omar Currie for doing the right thing in his class. Let’s all emulate Mr. Currie and support diversity of all kinds of families in our schools, business settings, churches and communities!

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Additional blogs and resources:

Blog about LGBT bullying and hate speech.

Blog about a leading anti-bullying non-profit, the Tyler Clementi Foundation.

Connection to GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network), resources for promoting equality and protection of all LGBT students in schools at all grade levels.

Blog with two scenarios of schoolyard bullying eventually impacting workplace harassment.

Blog about LGBT diversity and bullying in the sports world.

Website with resources on hate crimes.

Blog with link to an organization about being an ally to the LGBT community.

A RANT: Facebook and LGBT bullying and hate speech

NOTE: Several useful resource links included at the bottom of the blog.

This 12-year-old boy, Ronin Shimizu of Fresno, California recently committed suicide as a result of intense bullying by classmates for being the only boy on his junior high cheerleading squad.

This 12-year-old boy, Ronin Shimizu of Fresno, California recently committed suicide as a result of intense bullying by classmates for being the only boy on his junior high cheerleading squad.

UPDATE: I received these useful links on handling hate crimes from a reader.
* How to combat hate crimes from the Anti-Defamation League
* Hates Crime Guide that includes links to dozens of resources, information on famous cases, etc.
* Definition of a “hate crime” from the Sydney Institute of Criminology.

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OK, it is time for one of my “rant blogs” where I am going to discuss the epidemic of online hateful speech and verbal bullying of LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) people. Given the disproportionate amount of gay teens committing suicide and transgender people being beaten and murdered, our entire society must strongly address this.

In two recent posts that I made on my Total Engagement Consulting business site on LGBT diversity, some extremely hateful and inaccurate comments were posted. First, I do not understand why these haters would even see my posts in their Facebook feed since I pay to have them displayed to people who have designated subjects such as transgender equality, LGBT community and employment nondiscrimination as topics of interest. Second, I am completely baffled that when I reported the hate speech, Facebook ruled that the comments did not violate their community standards stated of “we allow users to speak freely on matters and people of public interest, but take action on all reports of abusive behavior directed at private individuals.”

Let me provide two examples.

In mid-November, I published a blog titled “Five Things Never to Say to Transgender People” in recognition of the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Very sadly, over 80 transgender people were murdered in 2014 (link), most of which appear to be victims of targeted hate crimes. One young man responded to the post with “f*** your bulls***” and then continued to write, “I shouldn’t be seeing this garbage on my newsfeed in the first place. And stop over reacting drama queen, when was the last time transgender people got murdered? Remember all the sick homosexual people that pop up on the news everyday doing horrible, sickening things to children. Stop acting like your kind isn’t tainted with the most disgusting people this world has ever seen.”

Transwoman Mia Henderson  was found dead of “massive trauma” in an alley in Baltimore, Maryland in June of this year.

Transwoman Mia Henderson was found dead of “massive trauma” in an alley in Baltimore, Maryland in June of this year.


On December 4, I wrote a short paragraph announcement for my Facebook page after the US Department of Labor announced the implementation of President Obama’s executive order protecting LGBT government contractors. One young man responded to this post that he was very glad to see this news since he was previously fired from a job for being gay. Then a hater responded to this heartfelt post of gratitude, “Good for you, you dumb queer. You lost your job, now you can burn in hell.”

These are the exact kinds of things young LGBT people read online that leads to self-condemnation and later to harmful behavior including suicide. It also “gives permission” to haters to perpetrate bullying and even physical attacks. In a way, I consider Facebook partly responsible for these suicides and murders since they are failing to enforce their own community standards and contribute to harm by not condemning these kind of personal attacks and hateful posts.

Furthermore, I encourage all members of our society to strongly and actively condemn hate speech and bullying whenever possible. To stand by while our national epidemic of hate and violence festers is almost as irresponsible as participating in this behavior. One step everyone can take is when they see a friend or loved one participating in hate, realize that the perpetrator probably has self-image or self-hate issues of their own and recommend they enter intensive counseling or anger management class. If not, that person may one day snap, kill or harm someone, and spend years in prison.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I do hope this is read by a senior Facebook executive and that they will have a responsible staff member overseeing the Facebook community standards contact me to discuss addressing this. Perhaps the Facebook monitoring team could use some LGBT Diversity Awareness training.

SOME USEFUL RESOURCES:

The Tyler Clementi Foundation is a national organization committed to ending bullying, harassment and humiliation, online and offline, especially for marginalized youth.

Inclusion and Respect materials for educators from GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network.)

Anti-bullying resources from the National Education Association.

Friendfactor, an excellent organization with the mission of building strong active ally programs at schools and businesses.