Stories of Love – A Valentine’s Month Blog

This is the second blog from Deanna Jones, Total Engagement Consulting by Kimer’s new consultant.  Link to Deanna’s last month’s blog, “Changing Narratives.”

I have realized there are no shortage of stories today that make us think about hate.

A Presidential Candidate recently stated, “I will sign a new executive order instructing every federal agency to cease all programs that promote the concept of sex and gender transition at any age.” Anti Transgender bills are being proposed at an accelerating rate with now over 200 bills being proposed by governing bodies around the country.

Even our own NC State Legislators have two anti trans bills that are being pushed as fast as they can to become law. While this can make you angry it makes me wonder, where can we find support? Where can we find love? Does it still exist? Of course it does, it just doesn’t get the volume in our algorithmic driven social media. Too often, hate speech makes it to the top of the search.

A crucial step to loving others is to loving yourself

Where to even begin? As always, love yourself, unconditionally, first. It’s so common to hear the advice to “love yourself before you can love others,” but it really is so true. Take some time to be over the top in love with yourself. Let go of judgments and expectations and be grateful and appreciative for all that you are.

On this month of Love, I challenge all of us to look for what is positive in our lives and how we can share that with someone. It’s important that we remember to reach out to each other to share our stories. Do you have a friend that you haven’t spoken to in a while because you might believe they think different from you? Reach out to them, ask them to have coffee. The value of small and random acts of kindness is greatly underestimated by the one engaging in the act. It doesn’t matter how you do it; this act could be something as simple as a text or a phone call.

Remember to create space for love in your life. It’s so important to create the space for all the great things you desire to come into your life. Until we take a chance and sit down together in some manner, we’re always going to be far away.

Since we have now just celebrated this St. Valentine’s Day, let’s make sure we celebrate and encourage love in all its many forms. My hope is that we all try and extend our reach a little and perhaps in the process understand each other and ourselves from a place of love.

North Carolina’s “Don’t Say Gay” Law – Bad for Business, Bad for People

NC Senate Bill 49 sends the strong message that these families are bad.

North Carolina Senate Bill 49, Known as “Parents’ Bill of Rights,” but in reality is modeled after Florida’s horrific “Don’t Say Gay” law, is moving through our state legislature at lightening speed. Republicans in our state legislature are ignoring the voices of parents, health professionals and businesses as they ram this bill through.

This bill is bad for both businesses (I am a diversity, equity and inclusion – DEI – consultant and trainer primarily serving businesses) and for people in general.

Bad for Business: Several years ago when we had HB-2, known as the bathroom bill which demonized transgender people and prohibited municipalities from passing nondiscrimination laws based on sexual orientation and gender identity, our state took a huge economic hit. (Estimated over $400M in investment and jobs.)
• Several companies planning to relocate or expand in North Carolina curtailed their plans.
• Some state and local entities outside the state prohibited business travel to North Carolina.
• Several of my clients told me it significantly impeded their hiring new talent or transferring out-of-state employees to North Carolina.
• Even the 2017 NBA All-star game was pulled from Charlotte, NC.

Bad for People: This bill clearly sends a message that there is something wrong or bad about gay, bisexual and transgender people; that there is something so wrong about LGBTQ people that it cannot be discussed in school. What message does this send to a little boy or girl in elementary school that discussion about their two-dads or two-moms families are off limits? NC Governor Cooper even made a strong statement opposing this bill as a divisive culture-wars political ploy.

Corporations flying the Pride Flag without taking meaningful action is nothing more than an empty gesture.

In addition, this bill will further exacerbate the extreme teacher shortage facing North Carolina. First, open-minded progressive teachers would not want to teach in state with such regressive laws, and teachers in general strongly dislike people outside their profession micro-managing what they can and cannot teach.

Calling corporations to action: In closing, I strongly encourage all companies with a North Carolina presence to issue strong statements opposing this law. In addition, any corporate political giving to North Carolina republicans must be curtailed. Proclaiming to value LGBTQ+ diversity while remaining silent about the bill is the height of hypocrisy. Flying the rainbow flag at your facilities in June (LGBTQ Pride Month) without taking meaningful action throughout the year is nothing but meaningless showmanship.