Posts Tagged ‘getting up’

Getting Up from Nay-sayers

Photo from Engility Corp

I continue my monthly blog series based on US Figure Skating’s popular “Get Up” campaign which shares the message that life, like the ice, is hard, and we can certainly fall on it. But the more times we get up and persevere, the stronger we become.

For September, I address one of the most insidious challenges we can all face in many aspects of our lives that we may need to “get up” from … Nay-sayers. These are people who tell us what we cannot do – that we are not talented enough, not smart enough, too fat, too lazy … whatever it may be, these are people who write us off for not being able to achieve our goals. These nay-sayers may include:
• Enemies and detractors who are trying to put us down
• Well meaning friends who are trying to give us advice
• Negative people who only have negative things to share about any subject
• Teachers, parents, coaches …. Various people in leadership roles in our lives
• And even sometimes our own internal voices.

But a word of warning …. We do need to discern when some of the negative advice we get is a professional opinion that we may need to heed. If we have a concussion and our physician tells us we cannot skate for three weeks, we best stay of the ice. However, in many cases we just need to “get up” and determine that with hard work, we can achieve our goals and prove the naysayers wrong.

I am reminded that Michelle Daichman, who was featured in one of my earlier blogs about getting up from injury and illness, shared that she was reminded by her Facebook Memories that 9 years ago she going in for her my third knee surgery. She wrote: My doctor made no guarantee that I’d be able to skate again. But I love that I “got up” and proved him wrong, and get to do so every day. This is my “get up story” – never underestimate!

Pat Tyrell Giorgio was determined to get up and continue skating even after a total hip replacement.

Pat Tyrrell Giorgio just wrote me that, almost four years ago, she was diagnosed with Congenital Hip Dysplasia and had Total Hip Replacement at age 60. Her Orthopedic Doctor told her that he didn’t know if she’d be able to skate again, but she sure showed him to be wrong by “getting up” and back on the ice.

A few more suggestions:
• Really think hard and consider if there is some constructive advice in the naysayers words to you that you can apply to help you succeed.
• Determine internally your own goals and the course you want to take – you can be in control of your life.
• Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who sincerely want you to succeed and help you do so.
• And finally, be a positive influence on the people around you, and don’t be a naysayer yourself.

My previous “Get Up” blogs can be found on my skating video and blogs page.

“Getting Up” From a Life of Hiding and Deception

The joy of “getting up” to live an honest and authentic life clearly shows in Jim Manchester’s brilliant smile.

This is now my seventh monthly “Get Up” blog based on US Figure Skating’s popular “Get Up” campaign which shares the message that life, like the ice, is hard, and we can certainly fall on it. But the more times we get up and persevere, the stronger we become.

So often we can fall down in our lives by living in a web of hiding and deception where we are not totally honest with ourselves and others. Getting up and moving into a life of integrity and honesty can be so empowering and fulfilling. I would like to share the story of a close friend, Jim Manchester, who actually created and maintains my business website.

Jim shares, “After trying to live 45 years of my life pretending to be a straight married man for 15+ years and making huge mistakes along the way, that double life simply caught up with me in a disastrous way. I had been afraid that I would lose my 4 close friends if they knew I was gay. In fact, I did lose 3 of them and the other one moved away.

“But after much therapy and recovery counseling, I started living a fully-integrated life and found appropriate role models in the gay community – one of whom was Stan Kimer. They all became close friends and confidants. I intentionally changed my old decision-making habits and undertook a new journey in life. They helped me realize that my purpose in life was to help build and encourage close LGBTQA communities that would allow others like me to thrive. I redirected my business efforts – along with everything else I do in life – toward that model.

“One very important step was taking full responsibility for my past actions and decisions and realizing that I need to take the steps to change my direction. So now at almost age 65, I have so much business in my web design, social media promotion, and smartphone app development business (IYI Creative – link) that I must schedule new clients into my available time. And instead of just 4 close friends, I now have hundreds of them.

Jim delivering a toast at a wedding among several dozen friends he made while rebuilding his life.

“In addition, I offer my professional services to many Community organizations who supported me in my new journey such as the LGBT Center of Raleigh, St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church, the Alliance of AIDS Services – Carolina, Crape Myrtle Festival, and the Raleigh Business and Professional Network – Raleigh’s LGBT Chamber of Commerce.

“I owe all of that to the hard work it took to change old patterns of secrecy and deception, and to the people who helped guide me through my own process of ‘Getting Up.’”

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To read my 6 other “Get Up” blogs, link to my figure skating blog page.

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