A RANT: Facebook and LGBT bullying and hate speech

NOTE: Several useful resource links included at the bottom of the blog.

This 12-year-old boy, Ronin Shimizu of Fresno, California recently committed suicide as a result of intense bullying by classmates for being the only boy on his junior high cheerleading squad.

This 12-year-old boy, Ronin Shimizu of Fresno, California recently committed suicide as a result of intense bullying by classmates for being the only boy on his junior high cheerleading squad.

UPDATE: I received these useful links on handling hate crimes from a reader.
* How to combat hate crimes from the Anti-Defamation League
* Hates Crime Guide that includes links to dozens of resources, information on famous cases, etc.
* Definition of a “hate crime” from the Sydney Institute of Criminology.

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OK, it is time for one of my “rant blogs” where I am going to discuss the epidemic of online hateful speech and verbal bullying of LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) people. Given the disproportionate amount of gay teens committing suicide and transgender people being beaten and murdered, our entire society must strongly address this.

In two recent posts that I made on my Total Engagement Consulting business site on LGBT diversity, some extremely hateful and inaccurate comments were posted. First, I do not understand why these haters would even see my posts in their Facebook feed since I pay to have them displayed to people who have designated subjects such as transgender equality, LGBT community and employment nondiscrimination as topics of interest. Second, I am completely baffled that when I reported the hate speech, Facebook ruled that the comments did not violate their community standards stated of “we allow users to speak freely on matters and people of public interest, but take action on all reports of abusive behavior directed at private individuals.”

Let me provide two examples.

In mid-November, I published a blog titled “Five Things Never to Say to Transgender People” in recognition of the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Very sadly, over 80 transgender people were murdered in 2014 (link), most of which appear to be victims of targeted hate crimes. One young man responded to the post with “f*** your bulls***” and then continued to write, “I shouldn’t be seeing this garbage on my newsfeed in the first place. And stop over reacting drama queen, when was the last time transgender people got murdered? Remember all the sick homosexual people that pop up on the news everyday doing horrible, sickening things to children. Stop acting like your kind isn’t tainted with the most disgusting people this world has ever seen.”

Transwoman Mia Henderson  was found dead of “massive trauma” in an alley in Baltimore, Maryland in June of this year.

Transwoman Mia Henderson was found dead of “massive trauma” in an alley in Baltimore, Maryland in June of this year.


On December 4, I wrote a short paragraph announcement for my Facebook page after the US Department of Labor announced the implementation of President Obama’s executive order protecting LGBT government contractors. One young man responded to this post that he was very glad to see this news since he was previously fired from a job for being gay. Then a hater responded to this heartfelt post of gratitude, “Good for you, you dumb queer. You lost your job, now you can burn in hell.”

These are the exact kinds of things young LGBT people read online that leads to self-condemnation and later to harmful behavior including suicide. It also “gives permission” to haters to perpetrate bullying and even physical attacks. In a way, I consider Facebook partly responsible for these suicides and murders since they are failing to enforce their own community standards and contribute to harm by not condemning these kind of personal attacks and hateful posts.

Furthermore, I encourage all members of our society to strongly and actively condemn hate speech and bullying whenever possible. To stand by while our national epidemic of hate and violence festers is almost as irresponsible as participating in this behavior. One step everyone can take is when they see a friend or loved one participating in hate, realize that the perpetrator probably has self-image or self-hate issues of their own and recommend they enter intensive counseling or anger management class. If not, that person may one day snap, kill or harm someone, and spend years in prison.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I do hope this is read by a senior Facebook executive and that they will have a responsible staff member overseeing the Facebook community standards contact me to discuss addressing this. Perhaps the Facebook monitoring team could use some LGBT Diversity Awareness training.

SOME USEFUL RESOURCES:

The Tyler Clementi Foundation is a national organization committed to ending bullying, harassment and humiliation, online and offline, especially for marginalized youth.

Inclusion and Respect materials for educators from GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network.)

Anti-bullying resources from the National Education Association.

Friendfactor, an excellent organization with the mission of building strong active ally programs at schools and businesses.

Recognizing the Value of Outstanding Coaches

In the month of December, I have decided to write from more of a personal perspective rather than about my normal topics of diversity and career development. In this blog, I want to recognize the recent tremendous impact of some outstanding coaches in different areas of my life.

A good coach instructs, prompts and inspires people to achieve significant goals

A good coach instructs, prompts and inspires people to achieve significant goals


What is a coach? Instead of quoting Webster’s dictionary, I want to offer my own definition. To me, a coach is someone who instructs, prompts and inspires a person to achieve aggressive results and maximize accomplishments in a targeted area.

During my long career, I had some great managers, mentors and sponsors, but it has only been in the past few years where I am understood the role and value of engaging various people in the true role of a coach. Let me discuss four coaches who have greatly assisted me in achieving goals in the areas of business, sports and personal health and well-being.

BUSINESS: I have actually had two coaches, with two very different personalities and styles, to assist me in starting Total Engagement Consulting by Kimer after my 31-year IBM career. Initially upon retiring from IBM, Right Management provided me with vocational transition coach Vickie Bevenour of RDW – Results Driven from Within. She inspired me with her own example of leaving corporate America to successfully forge her path as an entrepreneur. She was a tough coach who taught me that discipline and planning were key to starting and running a business. She gives her students rigorous homework assignments so we uncover the steps we need to take to succeed, but also provides warmth and encouragement that inspires.

People most often think of coaches in the realm of sports, but coaches can also work in areas of business, financial, dating, retirement planning and general life management

People most often think of coaches in the realm of sports, but coaches can also work in areas of business, financial, dating, retirement planning and general life management


I later transitioned to a second coach, Nancy Heller currently with Right Management, who has a soft-spoken almost laid back style. She has a creative mind and she frequently challenges me to look at business issues in different ways to find innovative solutions I would not have noticed without her coaching. And like Vickie, she always offers an encouraging word which inspires me to work harder. The mix of two different style coaches in the business area I believe led to the best possible results!

SPORTS: Five months ago I decided to move from being a spectator to a participant in a sport I really enjoy – figure skating. I sought a coach who was willing to take on a relatively old adult starting with no experience. My skating coach is Paula McKinley of the Central Carolina Skating Club in Hillsborough, NC. She has patiently worked with me from my first shaky steps on the ice to teach me correct form and basics, and she skillfully deduced how fast to push me so I could grow and achieve without being discouraged. Because of her, I have developed the basic skills and gained confidence on the ice and now discovered I love skating with a new-found exciting passion that has even surprised myself! I am having the time of my life – look for more about my skating journey in my next blog titled “Finding and Pursuing a New Passion!”

HEALTH AND WELL-BEING: Because of hunching over a computer for hours at end year after year at work, I have developed some physical issues in my shoulders and upper arms. My physician referred me to physical therapy with the Trinity Wellness Center in Raleigh. I view my outstanding and cheerful physical therapist Caitlin Espy as more than a physical therapist; I recently told her that I consider her as more of a health and strength coach! She has been so helpful is helping me understand that physical therapy is a process where things improve over a longer period of time with diligence and exercise … it’s not like taking a pill where a medical issue is gone in day or two. She assigns me a few new and increasingly difficult exercises each session, along with cheerful encouragement, resulting in increasing upper body strength and mobility.

So … thank you Vickie, Helen, Paula and Caitlin – my life is so enriched in many aspects through these four wonderful coaches!